Unfortunately for me, it seems like I've developed the habit or custom of responding to things in a depressed way, I frequently obsess about depressing things.
I wish I would stop it.
However it's been such a deeply ingrained habit that it's hard to escape.
faeriechilde suggested that I do something radically different from my regular life. Go some place far from what's familiar, somehow to show that the world can be different from the tiny boxes that I live in.
I wonder if it would help?
I've got one friend who had similar problems with isolation in her rather limited world, still oppressed by her parents. She met someone from the san fransisco area, and then started making journeys up there. When she was just visiting things were better. They gave her hope.
Then she moved up there and got a job in a dot-com.
And then she returned to her previous life of avoiding life through work.
Of course I could just be being unnecessarily pessimistic.