Diane Trout (alienghic) wrote,
Diane Trout

gasp, shock, something positive?

So today I went to a thing called "Trans-Unity" which was a trans conference/pride festival. Although my emotions were off to a bit of a rocky start, by the end I was thoroughly enjoying myself.

Admittedly compared to the average MtF, I feel pretty butch. And after hanging out with some of the FtM's I have this temptation to go put on a guys suit complete with penis pointer (aka tie). Hmm.. even worse, a penis pointer that's been cut off. How in your face is that? It's scary, but strangely tempting, for me to even contemplate the gender-fuck that represents.

So can you still be androgynous by wearing equal amounts of gendered clothing? (e.g. suit jacket & tie paired with a skirt?)

Sometimes it seems like my psychology is largely set up to just rebel. Now if I can just rebel against the whole internalized trans-phobia my life would be so much better.

The other thing is the most recent amazingly cute woman that I was attracted to also showed up at the conference. I got to dance a bit with her at the end, and I'm really wishing I'd said something about how incredibly cute she seems.

Though she also seems really direct, strong willed and perhaps critical, which gives me some pause to worry.

BTW, there are trans kids who are transitioning in there teens. One guy even started when he was 16. There was also some cute trans-women too. Some of whom weren't even being hyper-femme.

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