?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Bar Sinister

« previous entry | next entry »
Aug. 2nd, 2004 | 01:58 am

Last night one of my lesbian friends decided to go to to Bar Sinister for her birthday.

I did a number of things that I'd never done before.

First off there were two clothing firsts--wearing a short frilly skirt and wearing a corset. I was really insecure about wearing the skirt and tank, but sapience told me to be stop whining and put it on. (For which I'm quite thankful).

I managed to get someone to take a picture of me before we left for the club.





While at the club, I saw I woman who looked a little bit like dragonblink's photos, though I wasn't really sure, as I'm not so good at comparing 3d to 2d. She did smile at me a couple of times, and so I wandered over and to try and fish out if I might know her from somewhere. I asked a couple of questions found out I was wrong and then wandered off.

Later she passed by again, and smiled fetchingly. One of my friends tried to encourage me to go talk to her, but I failed my confidence check and couldn't imagine how I could possibly maintain a conversation. As the night progressed I started to feel more confident and so went looking for her--a search that ultimately failed.

Though while wandering, I did see another woman who smiled at me, realizing the foolishness of my previous insecurity I went up and tried talking to her. It was a bit awkward and hard to try and figure out what to say. But I did manage to exchange a few casual sentences with her before running out of ideas and returning to the dance floor.

However she decided to follow me and we ended up dancing together, and in a completely uncharacteristic move I even rested my hand on her waist. She moved away from my friends and I followed her. I danced with her a bit longer before she wandered off again. This time I couldn't quite get myself to follow her again, and so I went back and danced with my friends some more.

Soon after sapience developed a muscle spasm and we all went to sit down.

After a bit the woman I'd danced with passed by and smiled at me, and put her hand on my shoulder as she passed by.

Once sapience recovered a little we started to leave, but before exiting I saw her again and went to say goodbye, and she gave me a rather warm hug.

I, suffering from a tendency to set impossibly high standards, started thinking that I should have gotten her contact information. Though recognizing that this was the first time I'd ever actually walked up to an attractive women at a club and managed to interact with her, perhaps I could forgive myself for not measuring up to some idealized standard of flirting. I felt like if I'd followed her, maybe we would've kissed or more, and that to properly follow societies scripts I was "supposed" to do that. Yet, I think I would prefer to know someone a bit better than 6 sentences before getting that intimate with them.

(Though note to self: printing up some calling cards on plastic would be a really clever idea for providing contact information while clubbing.)

For those curious the corset I was wearing felt very comfortable, while standing or dancing, when I sat down it was pushed up into my ribs. However today when I put it on, I didn't notice the problem with my ribs getting squeezed. I do like my silhouette while wearing the corset much better and I'm wondering if I'll be trying my hand at waist training.

Also the major lesson that saturday night drove deep into my consciousness is that, I'm nervous doing things that I don't feel like I'm very good at, dressing femme, talking to attractive strangers, dancing with someone else, or flirting. Though when I manage to escape from being self-conscious I tend to do reasonably well.

Another lesson is that it is possible for me meet women who seem to find me attractive.

I was going to say "find me attractive at at goth clubs", but I realized it's important for me to focus on the stronger version of that statement. As I get better at caring for my appearance I'm becoming more likely to meet women who find me attractive. I can't tell if it's that I'm becoming more confident, or if I'm more aesthetically appealing.

Link | Leave a comment |

Comments {18}

cat

(no subject)

from: neko_san
date: Aug. 2nd, 2004 09:02 am (UTC)
Link

wow - you look so incredibly cute in that pic! (and i didn't realize that your hair had gotten that long...)

Reply | Thread

Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Aug. 2nd, 2004 10:54 am (UTC)
Link

thank you...

since I usually have it in a pony tail it's hard to tell how long it's gotten. I'm wondering if I should go visit the long hair specialist salon here in pasadena to get a good styling.

I know when I have my hair down people regularly compliment me on it.

Reply | Parent | Thread

secretslip

(no subject)

from: secretslip
date: Aug. 2nd, 2004 10:42 am (UTC)
Link

(Though note to self: printing up some calling cards on plastic would be a really clever idea for providing contact information while clubbing.)

no way, hand out mini-CDs. It's more you.

Reply | Thread

Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Aug. 2nd, 2004 10:50 am (UTC)
Link

I wonder if they'd break if placed under a corset while dancing? I'm also curious as to if I could label them.

The last question is what would I do with all of that space.

I wish I was a better graphic artist.

Reply | Parent | Thread

secretslip

(no subject)

from: secretslip
date: Aug. 2nd, 2004 10:57 am (UTC)
Link

With modern photoediting software, everybody is a better graphic artist

Reply | Parent | Thread

(no subject)

from: musicwomyn
date: Aug. 2nd, 2004 05:34 pm (UTC)
Link

Wow!!! You look hot!

Reply | Thread

Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Aug. 2nd, 2004 09:29 pm (UTC)
Link

Thanks.

Alas there is one unfortunate problem--I've almost closed this corset, and I've only worn it for two days.

It might be possible to have it taken in some, but that means giving it up for a few weeks, and then I wouldn't have a corset that easily fits under my clothes. Perhaps I'll have to buy another one first. (This could become a rather expensive hobby rather quickly).

There's also the small matter of all my clothes being to large again. (at least while wearing the corset.)

I wonder if waist training is permanent.

Reply | Parent | Thread

(no subject)

from: musicwomyn
date: Aug. 2nd, 2004 10:24 pm (UTC)
Link

I believe waist training is permanent...somewhat...have you looked it up online?

Reply | Parent | Thread

Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Aug. 3rd, 2004 12:10 am (UTC)
Link

I've looked a little but the information seems a bit spotty. Dark garden had the most reasonable sounding answer. Though it seems like my waist compressed remarkably fast.

Reply | Parent | Thread

adrienne

(no subject)

from: sapience
date: Aug. 3rd, 2004 04:15 am (UTC)
Link

and trust me, that photo does NOT do her justice. she looked much yummier in person. :)

Reply | Parent | Thread

Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Aug. 4th, 2004 01:25 am (UTC)
Link

Really? That's almost scary.

Oh yes, and sunday I went and got more makeup. Things like eyeliner and mascara.

Reply | Parent | Thread

adrienne

(no subject)

from: sapience
date: Aug. 4th, 2004 10:23 am (UTC)
Link

yes, really.

and woohoo!

Reply | Parent | Thread

Jen

(no subject)

from: jadine
date: Aug. 2nd, 2004 05:58 pm (UTC)
Link

You look great!

Reply | Thread

Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Aug. 2nd, 2004 09:23 pm (UTC)
Link

I really like it too. I'm glad my friends made me dress up, and I'm really glad I bought the corset.

Reply | Parent | Thread

adrienne

(no subject)

from: sapience
date: Aug. 3rd, 2004 04:19 am (UTC)
Link

i'm so glad that someone else took a picture of you.

reason being that somehow, all the pictures from that night were somehow deleted. remember the pictures i took of the bag i made right before we left? those were the only ones on the card, and they were numbered starting at 001, which is what happens when the card has been cleared. i don't know how it happened, but i'm fucking devastated. all those gorgeous pictures lost!

but you really did look amazing, hon. i'm so, so happy for you, and for the wonderful time you had. and it's so great to see the positivity you've expressed here. it's so wonderful!

Reply | Thread

Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Aug. 4th, 2004 12:52 am (UTC)
Link

I'm so sorry! If I'd changed my batteries like I'd thought I had I would've been able to have more pictures.

Thank you for making me dress up.

Though now I'm wondering how I can learn to choose clothes that would look good on me as that skirt is something I would have never thought to choose on my own.

Reply | Parent | Thread

adrienne

(no subject)

from: sapience
date: Aug. 4th, 2004 10:29 am (UTC)
Link

you are so very welcome, hon.

like i said, it's just a matter of being adventurous, and being willing to try on a whole bunch of stuff until you start to learn what does and doesn't look right on you.

over the years, i've developed a pretty good eye for myself by experimenting with anything that looked somewhat interesting to me and figuring out what shapes flatter my body best. and because i consistently choose clothing that suits my figure, most people think i look pretty good in clothing. :) i'm still naked at heart, though, heh.

Reply | Parent | Thread

(Deleted comment)

Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Aug. 9th, 2004 12:20 am (UTC)
Link

Thank you...

And I looked like I knew what I was doing... Wow, I never would've suspected that.

Reply | Parent | Thread