T-mobile has several different levels of service for internet connectivity, I ended up subscribing to the top tier, however I configured my phone from my coworkers who had one of the lower tiers. The difference is the top tier gives you a real unfiltered IP address, while the lower tiers give you a 10.x.x.x address with only a few ports open. I could connect with http and smtp, but not jabber or ssh.
After switching from my gprs address from wap.voicestream.com to internet3.voicestream.com I was connected to the unfiltered access and could then use ssh and jabber.
The only remaining downside is the pathetic round trip ping time.
259 packets transmitted, 194 received, 25% packet loss, time 258366ms
rtt min/avg/max/mdev = 800.180/1050.882/1810.805/187.989 ms, pipe 2
An average of 1 second round trip, that makes interactive things like ssh a real pain to use.
Maybe now I can try to hang out at a coffee shop and not suffer a complete net withdraw.