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That was depressing

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Apr. 6th, 2004 | 01:02 am

I went to J's house tonight for dinner and she complained about my obession with the rather depressing state of the world. She started with trying to convince me to do something more positive, like raise money for a specific cause or some other activity that would involve dealing with random people--an activity I find extremely stressful.

As the night wore on I felt increasingly alienated and withdrew rather completely into myself. There were a few occasions where I was strongly tempted to pick up my stuff and walk out the door without saying further.

I feel really unhappy since I feel like I can't share anything that's important to me with her. I really like technology and she finds it unpleasant. I enjoy trying to understand the current state of the world while most people, including her, find it far to depressing to contemplate.

(The confusing thing is that for me focusing on the current state of our environment was less depressing than my feelings of my own life.)

Also since in her life most of the vegans she's known other than me have been crazy, she's not convinced that vegan propaganda is that acurate. She told me that she suspects the vegans lie to advance their agenda.

This conversation left me feeling distrustful of her and wanting to protect my feelings from her.

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Comments {11}


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from: soulspirals
date: Apr. 6th, 2004 06:30 am (UTC)

I would challenge you to say that to her. In a kind way, with as much openness as you find safe. Think about what would change that situation for you - both what you can do and what she can do. Then be willing to tell her what you can do, and ask her for what you would like.

If it doesn't go well, you will learn a lot. If it does go well, you learn something AND gain a whole new level in your relationship.

My 2 cents.

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Diane Trout

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from: alienghic
date: Apr. 6th, 2004 02:21 pm (UTC)

Later in the evening I told her that I was less hurt by the statement from her like "I find my own life challenging enough and I can't deal with all the negative information about the rest of the world", than her first few comments. Her frustration first came out as complaining about how I wasn't actually changing anything and that I should be raising money for various organizations or other such commonly accepted non-profit strategies. This really feeds into my overactive critic which prevents me from ever doing anything because nothing I do can ever live up to my expectations.

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