Diane Trout (alienghic) wrote,
Diane Trout

  • Mood:

what to do

I'm trying to decide what to do tonight. I was thinking of going to the club where the most recent attractive woman might be going to in a vain hope of interacting with her.

At this point I'm rather doubt this is a good idea. Since my insecurities were just triggered, I think my most likely reaction to a club is to see all the people who I think are more attractive than me and those who look like they're some how flirting/involved with each other and will jump immediately to wanting to die.

That is not a good mental space to try and make a good impression, leading me to more reasons to abuse myself.

Though the critic in my head did want to point out that there is a remote chance that I could interact with her in a positive way that leaves me feeling hopeful.

And to clarify things a bit, some of my body-image issues are attached to me feeling that i'm not going to ever experience being loved.

The critic pointed out that since my experience with relationships has been rather limited it's not really clear that having someone who was living with me who cared would actually improve things.

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