June 26th, 2003

thoughtful

Fumes.

Spurred by Canada's recent decision to legalize gay marriages, a coalition of right-wing religious groups has launched a campaign to amend the U.S. Constitution to define marriage as strictly between a man and a woman, invalidate all state and local domestic partnership laws and nullify civil rights protections based on marital status.

So far from woman owing what liberty she does enjoy, to the Bible and the church, they have been the greatest block in the way of her development. The vantage ground woman holds to-day is due to all the forces of civilization, to science, discovery, invention, rationalism, the religion of humanity chanted in the golden rule round the globe centuries before the Christian religion was known. It is not to Bibles, prayer books, catechisms, liturgies, the cannon law and church creeds and organizations, that woman owes one step in her progress, for all these alike have been hostile, and still are, to her freedom and development--Elizabeth Cady Stanton


Not only does that apply to women, but also the all the myriad LGBT/Queer people, and possibly even animal rights and environmental protections. Frequently Freethinkers challenge the religious status quo, and the religions follow to avoid losing their followers.

I understand that religion can be comforting to some, but it certainly feels like conservative christianity stands in stark opposition to my being trans, lesbian, and feminist.
thoughtful

Eeep

I went to dinner with people in my lab, and was caught as they were wondering what ililyth was doing with secretslip in the office next door.

uhm. I said, they were seeing each other? But wait they asked? Isn't he seeing someone elsewhere?

Drat. My native honesty gets me in trouble again.

Yeah, it was a long distance, casual relationship, (must not say anything about poly).

Also secretslip seems to be having some issues with the whole poly thing. I find it really amusing that I keep arguing for poly, even though I've avoided dating several poly people. (Though I have been involved with others).

I suspect that as someone with a non-traditional orientation, my life is improved my having more people in various non-traditional relationships. (It creates a society where people are less likely to limit others)
thoughtful

dating

I think I can finally clearly explain why I have trouble dating... I'm bored of this subject and wish I would stop whining about it. Unfortunatly I have yet to find a way to resolve the sense of loneliness I feel.

The answer seems to be I'm a pessimistic introvert whose frightened of meeting new people while living in an intensly alienated culture.

Aparently LA is far more alienated than most other cities. My therapist for instance mentioned how after living in some small street in boston for 12 years actually became close friends with her neighbors, while living in a condo complex in LA for 12 years has never even seen the inside of one of her neighbors units.

Since I already have difficulty reaching out to other people, living here makes it well nigh impossible to connect.

My sense of pessimism doesn't help either. Ignoring my tendency to assume that being pessimistic is just unatractive (because being a characteristic of me, it must be unattractive), pessmisim makes it more difficult to continue putting effort into trying to meet people.

One illustrative example, is I once tried internet dating through yahoo personals. I managed to email some of the women several times. However I learned that they'd actually gone to meet the other people they were emailing with long before I had even begun to feel comfortable enough to actually meet one in person.

And of course since I've tried internet dating and seen how poorly I used it there is little point in trying again.

Also since it takes so much effort to meet new people, it's frequently easier to return to the little rituals that make me feel more comfortable.

Oh yes and a related problem, another solution to feeling lonely might be to try the house-mate thing. However I assume it would be better to be a house-mate with someone whose company I enjoy. Unfortunatly that means that at some point I'd probably have to deal with being attracted to them. Since I've even found some of my male friends attractive after reaching a certain level of friendship, it appears that I'm bi enough not to have a 'safe' gender

I kind of wish the problem was something simpler like being overweight, as it seems easier to loose 60 pounds than to be more confident and optimistic.