For example women who I think are beautiful tend to be tall, lithe, long haired, with a good hip to waiste ratio. The description that I most wish would apply to me. I've got two of the four, and am least approaching as close to lithe as I can get.
With respect to personality, I tend to find women who are postive, cheerful, outgoing, spontaneous and playful attractive. Once again those are all characteristics I'd like to develop in myself.
An interesting question is what happens if I succeed? If much of my attraction is wish fulfillment, and there's no one left who I'd rather be than me, then that compoent of attraction disappears.
While pondering this question all I came up with is what remains is finding someone entertaining, interesting, and for a close intimate relationship trustworthy.
However is it worth it? There are costs to having a relationship, time spent negotiating misunderstandings and differences of opionion or making time to pay attention to those in the relationship.
I think it's time to go work on being more optimistic.