I think I'd started sliding back toward pining for secretslip and a lesbian friend reminded me that crushes on straight women involve nothing but pain for the queer woman. (Well except for my therapist who seemed to catch a nascent lesbian before she figured out she was gay.)
There's something terribly frustrating about meeting someone exceptional of an incompatible orientation.
secretslip was kind and listened to me talk about this while I was still depressed.
Later I started addressing the other question--What do I want to do with my life? Be a good little support tech or push toward being a primary investigator. (Or something between those two extremes).
Talking about that issue made me feel better.