Perhaps my long history of depression might be offset by actually getting a sufficient amount of physical activity?
Another interesting idea is instead of abusing myself over my weight I should find some reasonable metrics of physical fitness & health and as long as they show that I'm in good health I should accept my body the way it is as opposed to trying to conform to the current standards of beauty.
The current fad for thinness is justified on the idea that overweight people are less healthy. Although being overweight is correlated with being sedentary, it is quite possible to have someone who is 'overweight' who is far more healthy than someone who is sedentary, but thin.
I'm trying to convince myself of this because I have this strong suspicion that I can never be as 'thin' as society would want me to be. I've got this peasant genetic background that's all about trying to store energy for later and build muscle for all that hard physical labor that my genes think I'm supposed to be doing.
I'm not willing to live on iceberg lettuce, coffee, and diet pills to try and conform. One friend of mine mentioned about one of her tall 'thin' coworkers was trying to survive on that diet. Which she frighteningly thought was eating well.
At my therapy appointment we talked a bit about this, and she mentioned that as women have gotten more freedom to pursue a wider variety of independent iives, the standards of beauty have been getting narrower. Apparently, as the theory goes, the current standards of beauty are orientated toward making the white guys in power less nervous about having to share their power.
The current standards of beauty seem to me to be best described as frail teenage girls instead of robust adult women. (Where robust means strong, healthy, and active.)
The last thing about exercise that bugs me is the irony that we invent these labor saving devices to prevent us from needing to expend energy. Then once we've discovered that we need some activity to keep our bodies functioning, we invent new machines to do this now special exercise task.
The part I find most annoying is the labor saving devices are more expensive than doing it the physical way and the exercise technology is expensive. You could save money needed to buy two types of technology by just doing stuff by hand.