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Bodies suck

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Feb. 15th, 2002 | 12:37 am
mood: Depressed

I've been depressed about my body for the past week or so. I'm quite convinced it's horrifying and that there's absolutly nothing I can do about it. Though I'm 25 kilos above my late teenage weight, even if weighed that again I'd still be far larger than the current "ideal." I've got a large bone structure, I'm tall, I've got a moderatly deep voice.

And there's nothing I can do about it, except perhaps more therapy.

The prefered solutions, shapeshifting nano-tech or brain transplant into an altered clone body seem quite some way off into the future.

I hate being reminded of having a body.

My current frustration is trying to go to a yoga class, and that unfortunatly makes me aware enough of my body for me to be reminded about how much it disturbs me.

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from: fromthemorning
date: Feb. 15th, 2002 09:15 pm (UTC)
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I hate the whole f--king concept of the body. The way it's supposed to look. I'll admit, like many the avg. person would, that I need to be mildly attracted to the person at first, but what I fall in love with is the person, their character, personality, etc., etc. I think it would be harder on the internet b/c you fall in love with all those things, but then when you meet them the appearance is just shock in your face, you either like it or not. You really have to get to know someone in real life and then let it all happen, b/c something could happen that you wouldn't expect.

That has nothing to do with anything, though. You shouldn't be ashamed of your body. I'm still learning this. I was an anorexic GUY at age 15, and I still suffer mildly from the psychological affects of that. I still think I'm fat sometimes. I guess I just care less now, but it's still there. Maybe I don't have much to say other than the whole body image thing is just so damn horrible.

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Diane Trout

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from: alienghic
date: Feb. 23rd, 2002 10:45 am (UTC)
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It's really hard to excise that idealized body, the standard that I think I "should" be instead of this wretched reality.

Out of curiosity, what helped you with the anorexia?

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