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Oct. 11th, 2001 | 01:42 pm

Well... this coming october 14th, I think that I will officially be an adult. I turn 30.
I feel like having some kind of party-esque thing, however I've rarely celebrated birthdays, and certainly haven't ever arainged something myself. How does one go about these things?

The other thing is october 15th is my 3 year anniversary of my SRS.

On a completely unrelated note, I went to the LA lesbian conversation group last tuesday, and met this woman who made reference to the patriarchy and how demanding women to conform to certain body shapes is a method of social control. I realized after I'd walked some distance away, I really should've gotten her email address or phone number. Someone else whose aware of these issues simply must be an interesting person. Especially since she's gotten to the point of not letting them control her through these techniques.

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Comments {15}

Clare T. Rampling

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from: rampling
date: Oct. 11th, 2001 01:55 pm (UTC)
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What, does 30 make you an adult? Didn't work for me!

I've been wanting to plan something for your b'day, but I've been flat on my face with pain. I'm feeling a little better today -- I'm actually at work right now. Wanna plan something? It might be even good for me too; I need to get back to my regular life.

3rd anniversary of SRS! How time flies!

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[you'll find a light, find a friend, find a way]

(no subject)

from: artemii
date: Oct. 11th, 2001 02:12 pm (UTC)
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have a dinner party?

hmm, maybe that's too thirty-steretypical...:)

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Diane Trout

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from: alienghic
date: Oct. 11th, 2001 05:16 pm (UTC)
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It's something, much better than my tendency to notice that my birthday had passed without me noticing...

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[you'll find a light, find a friend, find a way]

(no subject)

from: artemii
date: Oct. 11th, 2001 06:05 pm (UTC)
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i think i just secretly want to have a dinner party and am projecting my desire onto everyone else instead because my house is messy. :)

oh, and i overanalyze myself - did i mention that? :)

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Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Oct. 11th, 2001 06:18 pm (UTC)
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It'd be nice if I could have it at my place, but my apartment is puny. At about 3 other people it'd start feeling cramped.

And I wouldn't know anything about over analyzing myself. Not one bit, nope, not at all.

me thinks that she doth protest too much? ;)

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Eternal Light

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from: eternuslux
date: Oct. 11th, 2001 02:22 pm (UTC)
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I don't know what a SRS is but congratulations...I guess.

Also, where is the lesbian conversation group? Is that at the Center?

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Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Oct. 11th, 2001 05:02 pm (UTC)
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SRS = sex reassignment surgery.

Yes, the lesbian chat group is at the LA Ed Gould center on tuesdays from 8pm to 10pm.

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Eternal Light

Re:

from: eternuslux
date: Oct. 11th, 2001 05:16 pm (UTC)
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Okay, I wasn't going to ask but it's already out there and my head hurts trying to figure it out on my own so I'll just go ahead and ask: you're a lesbian so that means that you used to be man who is now a woman who likes women or are you a woman who is now a man..wait a second..that doesn't make sense. So, you WERE a man and are now a woman who likes women?

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Diane Trout

T101

from: alienghic
date: Oct. 11th, 2001 05:41 pm (UTC)
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It gets confusing doesn't it...

Your gender identity is something that refers to how you see yourself. Other non-gendered examples would be geek, jock, or ethnic identities.

Your orientation is what you find attractive in other people.

And for completeness sake your sex is either the stuff that's between your legs or what role you can take when reproducing. (For me that's either Female by the first or Neuter for the second.)

I tend to be a bit too self-conscious for my own good and although I'm mostly attracted to women-gendered people, I don't like calling myself a lesbian because there's a long history of lesbians not liking trans-people. (Or is that hating us?)

As for what my orientation, apparently a relatively common attraction among gay people is to be attracted to people you want to be more like--I certainly have that. The other thing messing with my orientation is I grew up in a fundamentalist church and the crud they said about women being subservient to men bugged me a lot. So for whatever reason I came to the conclusion that hetero relationships are less likely to have a fair power balance than homo relationships. (And men without clothes on are kind of icky.)

I knew about the transgendered issues for ever since I was 12 or so. Which led to me to wonder if I was lesbian when I was dating my first girlfriend. I ended up deciding no one would believe me and tried to ignore it.

I hope that makes some sense...

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Eternal Light

Re: T101

from: eternuslux
date: Oct. 11th, 2001 09:49 pm (UTC)
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Um, no, but that's okay. Thanks for responding.

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Diane Trout

Re: T101

from: alienghic
date: Oct. 11th, 2001 11:21 pm (UTC)
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Hmm... can I try to explain again?

I guess the other answer is I've always just been me and the labels that people attach to me have shifted based on their perceptions of me.

What I am is a person who looks, smells, tastes, and acts like your typical geeky woman who also tends to be attracted toward other intellectual women. What people label that is up to them.

As for why did I end up that way when other alternatives seem like they should have been easier, I don't really know. It just worked out that way. Life would have been easier if my parents had a functional relationship, they didn't so I just have to deal with the consequences.

Was that any better?


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Eternal Light

Re: T101

from: eternuslux
date: Oct. 12th, 2001 09:33 am (UTC)
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I guess where I'm confused is that you said that you'd had 'surgery' which to me indicates that something medical happened as in a M2F transition, but you'd said that you were a girl who was attracted to other girls growing up. So, I was wondering if you were a woman in a man's body and had it altered or if you were a woman who identified as what is typically known as masculine attributes and had your body altered to a man or what the surgery entailed exactly.

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Diane Trout

Re: T101

from: alienghic
date: Oct. 12th, 2001 11:18 pm (UTC)
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I was born physically male, but it didn't fit my identity well... eventually I managed to figure out that there was a better alternative for me.

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T e s s

(no subject)

from: soulsong
date: Oct. 11th, 2001 04:11 pm (UTC)
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October 1st was the 2-year anniversary of my SRS, so happy anniversary (and birthday) to you and I somewhat share the feeling!

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Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Oct. 11th, 2001 05:15 pm (UTC)
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Congradulations to you too. :)

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