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Sep. 18th, 2004 | 05:23 pm

For those interested in my progress at improving my mental health I think I realized something remarkably simple.

A large source of my depression stems from me thinking about the depressing things in my life.

Now the reason that I kept doing that was I kept striving to find what was the deep cause of these problems, so I kept raking myself over analytic coals. What I recently decided to try is to accept, that really I actually do know what all of the depressing things that have happened in my life are, and that analyzing them further doesn't serve any purpose. With that thought in mind I've been able to tell myself several times to not bother obsessing about several things that have in the past made me depressed.

Now there's the free floating anxiety, but I bet that stems from having had my depression easily triggered, and so I've trained myself to have a certain about of dread.

Next up, trying to convince myself that I can be interesting--which I suspect will be much easier when I stop obsessing about my emotional problems.

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Comments {9}

pouched fox

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from: pouchedfox
date: Sep. 18th, 2004 06:32 pm (UTC)
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I'm in a similar boat. Don't analyse your feelings
too intensely but do notice what makes you happy and
sad. Sometimes different foods (sugar levels, heavy proteins)
can effect your moods. Keep in contact with people
that make you feel good about yourself, and you can
have a good time with. Someone just to go out to the
movies with, can change a blah evening into something
interesting (we saw x at the movies together, then grabbed
a bite at the y cafe, while there I saw this person with
polkadot hair..etc)

Another thing is go out do different things,
even if it's just walking around a store you've
never been in, or go to a movie, eat exotic food
resturaunts. Then you'll have more interesting
stuff to talk about, and often whats interesting
isn't the expected (I went to resturaunt x and ate)
but the unexpected (I was eating and noticed this
cute blond guy. Whoa the food was so spicey I thought
I ate a flamethrower)

Being a computer person, I realized I spend way too much
time on the puter, and sometimes I go out just to get away
from it, sometimes just shopping makes me feel better because
I'm around people then.

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Diane Trout

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from: alienghic
date: Sep. 19th, 2004 01:08 am (UTC)
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I've been a bit reluctant to go off and do completely new things. Though I really do need to get over that fear of making mistakes.

Actually on my upcoming vacation, I'm hoping that reading AI: a modern approach will give me some ideas of some planning and learning algorithms that I could apply in my own life. ;) And that's not actually as crazy of an idea as it sounds, as I've also wasted too much time trying to choose between several nearly identical options, and I realized just what a waste of time that was after reading about how software had to address that problem. Maybe I can also convince myself that learning only happens after experience.

I've also noticed that I'm my apartment is where I most frequently get depressed, and it's probably due to the lack of people. I'm hoping to take advantage of that shiny new t-mobile hotspot membership which should help facilitate combining computing and being around people.

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Aluta Corinthiaca Sumptuosa

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from: dragonblink
date: Sep. 18th, 2004 09:39 pm (UTC)
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Would it help if an unbiased independent party declared that you can, in fact, be interesting? I mean, I've witnessed it. :)

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Diane Trout

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from: alienghic
date: Sep. 19th, 2004 12:54 am (UTC)
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:) thanks, and you too were interesting.

Although I should be packing, might you be interested in getting together to see sky captain, "tomorrow" evening (aka sunday)?

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Robin

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from: solri
date: Sep. 19th, 2004 07:35 pm (UTC)
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Now there's the free floating anxiety, but I bet that stems from having had my depression easily triggered, and so I've trained myself to have a certain about of dread.

Nicely put!

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adrienne

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from: sapience
date: Sep. 20th, 2004 05:32 pm (UTC)
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ha! excellent. :)))

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Diane Trout

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from: alienghic
date: Sep. 21st, 2004 01:00 pm (UTC)
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even better is this plan actually seems to be working.

And I've almost got the courage to start sliding toward being a bit more romantic goth femme.

maybe even something this far (especially now that summer seems to be drifting away.

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adrienne

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from: sapience
date: Sep. 21st, 2004 01:30 pm (UTC)
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heh, you? far? you'd never do anything extreme! hehe.

but seriously, go for it. have fun with it. why not?

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Diane Trout

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from: alienghic
date: Sep. 21st, 2004 02:48 pm (UTC)
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And here I thought that I was some paragon of temperance.

You mean an open source, vegan, lesbian-ish goth chick is extreme?

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