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Communication styles

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Nov. 9th, 2003 | 12:58 pm
mood: thoughtfulthoughtful

I noticed that I have trouble talking with this new woman. After doing some comparing and contrasting with the other women I've been involved with or interested in I noticed one big difference. Most of the other women have been wrapped up in their own lives and were happy to find someone willing to listen to them.

It's rather different to be trying to talk to someone else who wants to listen. Talking about myself is not something I'm used to, and I'm a bit rusty at getting someone else to talk about themselves.

I like this explanation better than the worry that we don't have anything in common.

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Comments {8}

Jane Tutor

(no subject)

from: pixelpoet
date: Nov. 9th, 2003 02:32 pm (UTC)
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i just noticed you're very observant and analaytical of yourself and others around you. lol :)

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Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Nov. 9th, 2003 02:41 pm (UTC)
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My therapist was commenting on how observant I am recent as well. I usually notice whenever there's a change in her office.

Not to mention I'm always trying to understand the world around me.

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Jane Tutor

(no subject)

from: pixelpoet
date: Nov. 9th, 2003 10:27 pm (UTC)
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i guess you're afraid of getting hurt or afraid of letting people get close to you, that is why you are so aware of things, but then if you really are, would you be talking about these things in livejournal, letting other people know? you are not afraid that someone might be able to hurt you by knowing all these things? did my question make sense?

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Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Nov. 10th, 2003 12:46 am (UTC)
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Yes your question made sense. If the interaction is largely intellectual it can maintain sufficient distance, even if it's about something highly personal. The fear is letting myself get emotionally close to someone. Once that happens their reactions start to matter to me emotionally and I can be hurt by them.

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[you'll find a light, find a friend, find a way]

(no subject)

from: artemii
date: Nov. 10th, 2003 06:04 am (UTC)
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oh, do i know what you mean.
i think this is at least part of it - if not the whole thing.

BTW - have you received those books yet? :) i hope you enjoy them!

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Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Nov. 10th, 2003 12:12 pm (UTC)
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I got the books a couple of days ago. I've only had enough time to read the introduction to one circle.

I do wonder if I should be a bit more confident about sharing what's going on in my life when in person. I remember an ex who just talked about the problems she was having at work. Yet, I was nearly enraptured by this, but entirely because I was just attracted to her.

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Grapril

Being able to talk

from: grape54
date: Nov. 10th, 2003 01:30 pm (UTC)
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I found your LJ through some six-degree of user seperation. Hope you dont mind my peek. being able to come up with conversation might show that you have an interest in letting someone in other wise you might just be content to listen for something to make you interested. Just a thought.

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Diane Trout

Re: Being able to talk

from: alienghic
date: Nov. 10th, 2003 09:03 pm (UTC)
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Have fun peeking...

I do think that it takes someone talking to make a connection with someone else. If you're both being quiet and nervous it'll stay awkward until you actually do someothing to change the situation. (Though I suppose just spending time nearby could make the situation seem more familiar and thus easier to start talking...)

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