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Aug. 30th, 2003 | 10:45 am
mood: depresseddepressed

After quantifying an aspect of my body I don't like, further torturing myself by comparing it to someone granted by her genetics with a good ratio, I've returned to I hating my body.

Once again I feel ugly and that nothing I can do would ever make me attractive. (Well I could work on nanotech surgery or whole body transplants, but that's the extremes it would take to fix the things I don't like about my body.)

I hope I can ignore the feeling of hopelessness and at least manage to make some effort.

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Comments {5}

secretslip

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from: secretslip
date: Aug. 30th, 2003 11:39 am (UTC)
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Don't hate your body, go to a fancy hair salon instead.

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Diane Trout

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from: alienghic
date: Aug. 30th, 2003 06:58 pm (UTC)
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I can't help myself. I've been hating my body since I was 11 and my first horrid experience with sex hormones.

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secretslip

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from: secretslip
date: Aug. 30th, 2003 10:25 pm (UTC)
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You're thinner than Queen Latifah and she's hot.

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T e s s

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from: soulsong
date: Aug. 31st, 2003 03:21 am (UTC)
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Why does your self esteem come from your body image? I could maybe understand your angst if you were ugly or outside the range of normal female appearance, but neither of those things are true. You might have more people fancy you if you were cuter, but really, would they be the sort of people you wanted to date - the ones who only liked you for your appearance?

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Diane Trout

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from: alienghic
date: Aug. 31st, 2003 12:06 pm (UTC)
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I've wondered about that too. My best guesses are:
  • I'm being a perfectionist.
  • I feel like my body isn't me, and so it can take the blame for my problems dating
  • I feel guilty about how high my threshold for finding someone pretty is and attempt to apply the same standard against myself as punishment for being superficial.

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