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Attraction

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Aug. 4th, 2003 | 08:23 pm

One thing that has frequently puzzeled me, is how much of my attraction is due to wish fulfilment.

For example women who I think are beautiful tend to be tall, lithe, long haired, with a good hip to waiste ratio. The description that I most wish would apply to me. I've got two of the four, and am least approaching as close to lithe as I can get.

With respect to personality, I tend to find women who are postive, cheerful, outgoing, spontaneous and playful attractive. Once again those are all characteristics I'd like to develop in myself.

An interesting question is what happens if I succeed? If much of my attraction is wish fulfillment, and there's no one left who I'd rather be than me, then that compoent of attraction disappears.

While pondering this question all I came up with is what remains is finding someone entertaining, interesting, and for a close intimate relationship trustworthy.

However is it worth it? There are costs to having a relationship, time spent negotiating misunderstandings and differences of opionion or making time to pay attention to those in the relationship.

I think it's time to go work on being more optimistic.

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Comments {5}

T e s s

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from: soulsong
date: Aug. 5th, 2003 04:20 am (UTC)
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Well, gee, one of the first reasons I realised I didn't fancy women was when I realised I only wanted to BE them, not fuck them. Still works the same. Any woman I find attractive is someone I want to be more like. My attraction to men is totally different. I dont want to be them, I just want to jump on them. :)

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Diane Trout

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from: alienghic
date: Aug. 5th, 2003 09:43 am (UTC)
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It's confusing as not only do I have the wishfulment portion, I also think womens bodies are sexier.

Also in my random experimentation I found I liked sex with women better than sex with men. Though that could partially have been because most of my sexual experinece has been pre-op. There also might be a reinforcement pattern, my first few times with women were easier and more comfortable than with men, so each following time women became easier and men more frustrating.

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Dieppe

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from: dieppe
date: Aug. 5th, 2003 12:46 pm (UTC)
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Ah, or maybe the times you've been with men, uh---they sucked? ;)

Not a lot of good men out there, truthfully... you know the sensitive, caring, listening to your needs kind.. but then again some women like the Other kind. ;)

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Diane Trout

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from: alienghic
date: Aug. 5th, 2003 01:58 pm (UTC)
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Actually the problem with of the guys was that he did suck. Or at least he kept trying to, which I found really icky.

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Dieppe

Welll...

from: dieppe
date: Aug. 5th, 2003 02:20 pm (UTC)
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Oy, yes, well there is that I suppose. :/

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