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Jul. 10th, 2003 | 11:42 pm

So at the end of my conference some random guy who works at the marine lab started talking to me. And he used the male pronoun on me, several times, so it wasn't a mistake.

He must have poor vision, or perhaps he was confused by my dykish nature.

(Shockingly this seems more plausible than the other reason.)

Though I do think I need to find more flattering shirts. Perhaps I should try to finally get over my fear of being noticed so I can actually look more presentable.

This living in crummy, ill-fitting, androgynous, chosen to camouflage me isn't helping me meet new people (or feel remotely good about my body).

(Though it occurred to me recently that looking to femme might be bad professionally. A professional woman who looks to masculine gets stigmatized for being too aggressive, while looking too femme can be interpreted by people's sub-conscious as not competent enough.

So the optimal strategy for employment according to that analysis is to look androgynous.

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Comments {15}

secretslip

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from: secretslip
date: Jul. 11th, 2003 12:00 am (UTC)
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Yeah, but you already have a job and people at your job already know you're competent. For skirts, go to C.P. shades on Raymond, close to Colorado. That is, if you want to be a clone of me. Everyone should.

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Diane Trout

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from: alienghic
date: Jul. 11th, 2003 12:14 am (UTC)
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I don't think everyone should be a clone of you, david baltimore would look pretty funny in a skirt for instance.

However I should get off my butt and see what it's like following in your footsteps. (Even as a poor 30something, following in your youthful steps).

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Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Jul. 12th, 2003 10:25 am (UTC)
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So I found their website, one question, what size of theirs do you wear? 'cause if it's their large, I should never set foot in that store.

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Firinel

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from: firinel
date: Jul. 11th, 2003 06:23 am (UTC)
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So the optimal strategy for employment according to that analysis is to look androgynous.

I dunno, I think often people see others that look androgynous and get really off-put by it. Like not being able to figure out their gender is such a huge deal that if they can't, they become completely ill-at-ease. People are weird.

With the way I'm built, I don't ever really get to try to pass for being what I'm not, though. I'd love to try at some point.

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Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Jul. 11th, 2003 10:16 am (UTC)
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Actually it's just a thought I had to try and explain why I don't feel like I've been that discriminated against for being a woman in CS. My current job at caltech in a lab headed by a woman makes sense. But the previous job where there's now a sexual harrasment suit against the owner is confusing. The owner seemed scared of me.

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Bolowolf

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from: bolowolf
date: Jul. 11th, 2003 06:55 am (UTC)
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I think it's entirely possible to wear something professional that doesn't have to completely hide your body, or be excessively feminine.
I'm not a fashion guru, so keep that in mind. Maybe wearing chino's or slacks, with a nice shirt and maybe a jacket would work? I don't know what look you want or what's appropriate for your work environment. Regardless, I've seen good compromises pulled off.

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Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Jul. 11th, 2003 10:18 am (UTC)
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I don't think the dress code is as lax as late night telephone operators, where I heard the requirement was that ones genitals be covered.

Most people in my lab just wear what you might expect for science college students.

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Melody

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from: melodymuse
date: Jul. 11th, 2003 10:23 am (UTC)
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I think you know my feelings about dressing Girly... :)

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Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Jul. 11th, 2003 10:45 am (UTC)
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I've just historicaly thought dressing remotely girly would look dumb on me. (Not to mention I'm scared of expressing a gender).

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(no subject)

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 11th, 2003 03:11 pm (UTC)
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Well, you could always (and I suppose this might be out of character for ya) just put your hands under your ample taa-taa's and ask sarcastically "Did you happen to miss these?" ;)

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Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Jul. 11th, 2003 03:19 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, I was wearing a shirt that I think made me look extra shapeless.

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(no subject)

from: anonymous
date: Jul. 11th, 2003 11:58 pm (UTC)
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Well geeze what do people want, you to wear a pink bow or something? ;)'

(Sorry I just find it odd for anyone to look at you and not see the woman that you are.. for all the years I've known you I've only seen you as a girl and that's that. :) )

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Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Jul. 12th, 2003 10:36 am (UTC)
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Yeah, that's why I'm thinking it may have been me just radiating some dyke aura that was confusing him.

Or he did mention he had a stroke, perhaps he just doesn't pronounce 's' sounds well.

I did feel like he was acting like a typical isolated geek boy. (trying to make sure the conversation contiunes, not leaving, sharing all sorts of personal information). Though it could've just been that KML is isolating.

(Or perhaps I just couldn't hear the 's' sound.)

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Usqueba

(no subject)

from: usqueba
date: Jul. 11th, 2003 11:57 pm (UTC)
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That's totally what I was thinking. "UH guys don't have BOOBS. Hello, McFly!".

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Diane Trout

(no subject)

from: alienghic
date: Jul. 12th, 2003 10:38 am (UTC)
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I remember going to the electrology clinic in texas that was being run by a dentist who'd been on hormones for years and could quite easily pass. However she hadn't transitioned in her practice, and so her male colleagues still thought she was male.

She even occasionally caught them looking at her breasts. Yet no one ever asked about it, or thought about switching pronouns on her.

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