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Jul. 9th, 2003 | 12:29 am

I've been bad at going up and trying to meet women. One alternative might be them coming up to me. (Which rarely happens).

Does anyone have any idea what one can do to appear more attractive to queer women? (Preferable intellectual ones who are passionate about their interests).

I've heard rumors that there are queer women who will walk up and flirt with other women. (One woman tonight complained that keeps happening to her girlfriend), doesn't happen to me though.

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Comments {5}

Josh

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from: irilyth
date: Jul. 9th, 2003 06:36 am (UTC)
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I think the key is to appear interested. No one likes rejection, and while there are some people who will ask anyone out, whether or not they think they have any chance, it seems to me that most people prefer to ask other people out only if they think the other person will say yes. If you look like you're not interested in other women, or not interested in a relationship at all, or unavailable for whatever reason, most (or at least many) people will be reluctant to ask you out and risk rejection. You don't have to do the asking, but make it clear that you're interested in being asked, and you should get asked more often.

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Diane Trout

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from: alienghic
date: Jul. 9th, 2003 12:25 pm (UTC)
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Do you have any idea what might signal being interested and available?

I occasionally try to smile at someone if the catch my eye. But so far that's it.

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from: musicwomyn
date: Jul. 9th, 2003 10:33 am (UTC)
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I've only been picked up once or twice by a womyn, and it definitely sucks and is frustrating. On the few occassions I have picked up womyn, I had to feel that I was attractive before making a move. I was successful. Confidence is key. Alcohol has also helped in this, along with the fact that I'm dissociated most of the time. But, this does help. You could do it as an acting exercise.

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Diane Trout

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from: alienghic
date: Jul. 11th, 2003 05:02 pm (UTC)
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How do lesbians actually meet?

Most seem to find asking other lesbians out really tough.

Not only do I just feel overweight and unattractive, I also worry that being trans is offputing and that my intense geek nature makes it hard to relate to most people.

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(no subject)

from: musicwomyn
date: Jul. 11th, 2003 08:06 pm (UTC)
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How do lesbians actually meet? Good question. I have met lesbians at work, at school, at clubs, and on the internet, but it's tough. People are a more open about trans up here than in LA. There is a huge FTM community that I've seen, and I know there is also a huge MTF community, too. Right now, I am trying Planet Out. I espond to people's ads and they respond to mine. It is a great resource. They are also trans friendly. I say this in solidarty, good luck.

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