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Good Advice of Friends

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Apr. 23rd, 2003 | 05:16 pm

So I got several emails telling me "Don't say corny things like your last post!" And I kind of agree. However I did enjoy writing it, and sharing it on LJ was a good way to share some overly dramatic prose that wishes it could be poetic without having to face the embarsement of actually saying something like that to someone.

What I actually did today was help her set up wireless networking on her work laptop and angsted about wether I should say something.

The one thing is I'm not sure how likely she is to act if she is interested. (I'm assuming that people who've spent most of their time being hetero, are unlikely to feel comfortable enough to act if they wanted to expermeint.)

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Josh

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from: irilyth
date: Apr. 23rd, 2003 09:19 pm (UTC)
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For what it's worth, I think something corny like your last post would be a fine thing to say once you've established mutual interest, or to someone you were dating, or whatever. If the other person is the sort of person who likes kinda corny stuff, anyway. :^)

I've known a fair number of "bi-curious" people (who have been het all their lives), who I wouldn't necessarily describe as uncomfortable about same-sex experimentation... Nervous and a little awkward, maybe, but in the way that skydiving is exciting and scary, not the way that eating snails is unpleasant and uncomfortable, if that makes any sense.

Are you mostly looking to find out whether she's interested in experimenting? If so, how comfortable are you with physical flirting? You can get a lot of mileage out of some casual contact, without the awkwardness of having to come out and say "so, wanna hold hands and smooch?" (grin) (And the corresponding awkwardness of putting her on the spot to decide how to respond to that.)

This sort of thing is definitely easier if at least one of you is fairly self-confident about the situation, but that's not much help if neither of you is in this case.

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Diane Trout

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from: alienghic
date: Apr. 24th, 2003 12:30 am (UTC)
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Eep! Invade some one elses personal space? I can't do that! (I'm scared of any form of flirting, I can occasionally convince myself to try rather cerebral discussion. But mostly I have lots of trouble. Of the relationships I'd been the instigator for, once I asked a woman, "You seem neat, would you like to go out?" and she said yes (and I couldn't hide my shock). The other two relationships I "started" mostly involved me following them around for a long period of time before they noticed me and deigned to show interest. Also two of the three relationships I tried to start ended with me being dumped after about 3 months, the third ended up with us dumping each other and getting involved again several times.

(Though your first paragraph about same-sex experimentation, I just wanted to mention that I think that awkward is a much better word for what I was trying to describe).

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